Wearing Beige On A Grey Day

by Crywank

/
1.
2.
I plate it up then put it down I doubt that I will ever even eat this food The process it made me less hungry And soon I get distracted Distorted scale of importance I live, I live, but I do not survive so well Food and sleep are never prioritised by me There’s jokes about my tired eyes My stomach starts to sing A manic public episode and then I start to think “Is this an inevitability stemming from my broken head, Or have I just not spelt and eaten again?” So I stay up ‘cos I can’t sleep I say, but really I’m just reading and watching and communicating with people in a language that I think is flawed Next thing I know it gets too late I think of all I must do the next day And so I opt to stay awake and I start drinking coffee Now I know I need to eat and so I go inside a shop But the food is not appealing and the choice there is a lot I pace around and panic buy nothing and leave I tell my friends I’ve eaten when they ask me
3.
JK 01:49
Yes, I know, I think I am a joke, I know I am a joke, I am a joke somewhere But I don’t really care, well maybe I do care, but if they know that I care they will tell more jokes about me Yes, I know, I’m easily provoked, I try to play it placid but I just can’t take a joke I guess that’s the part that funny, I guess I’m a real dummy, as I cannot hide my upset , I run crying home to mummy “Mummy, mummy, mummy! Why are they so cruel? Why do they all laugh at me when I go to school? And when I get a job? And when I leave home? And when I start a family? And even when I’m dead?” Mummy said “poor sweetie what do they say? After they make a joke do they say JK?” I said “no” she said “oh! That’s really bad, I always say JK after having a laugh” “Mummy mummy mummy! What do we do?” She said “first thing tomorrow we take you out of school, You don’t have to get a job to start a family would be cruel It is such a pain to have to be related to you” And then I waited.... and I waited... and I waited all day But mummy never went on to say JK
4.
Dan was singing about 10,000 crustations And Meis was crying and we did not know why How we hope she is alright, we passed a cross in the dark It was lit up, and so where the pavements The parts in the darkness, which are chosen to remain illuminated. Maybe now we have done what we said we would do, you can choose the local tradition and make artful toilets. Some say the best art is often used. I take it two tiles at a time Paying close attention to my feet and to my pace and to the extra cracks I’ve played this game for such a long time Maybe I should I look up, maybe things are looking up Maybe I can step in the cracks Oh but where is the run in that? “Should I jump and stop breathing? I’ve thought of more complicated ways to die” you said And I wrote down what you said on my phone Once again dan pretends a plastic bag is something else. Poured poured boy.
5.
Blood 02:20
The blood, it will not dry Oh the blood it will not dry So instead we are trained to just roll our eyes This is not a call for guilt This is just a request for respect The blood may not be on our hands But we sleep in their beds Oh we sleep in their beds We are told not to live in the past But some things must not be forgotten We can outlast, but what’s done is cast And privileges are ill-gotten.
6.
7.
Doubt 01:38
Well I’m well aware of what isn’t there Do you have a choice? Not yet found a voice to answer that with. Well if I could identify with anything it would be doubt Let’s give a name to my everything, let’s call it doubt Any other name I accept it will soon feel like performance Only the doubt is enormous A doubt by any other name I doubt I doubt the words spilling out my mouth I doubt I care, I doubt I don’t care, I doubt And now I don’t think I’ll reaxh a point where the questions end There’s always another, but sometimes we pretend that we have the answers Yeah we’re just a bunch of chancers I am doubtful I am doubtful I am doubt
8.
I slice myself up and put the pieces behind a desk, and try to start a conversation But soon enough what they choose to discuss is the blame of subjegation I wither and dither through my days To stutter and shake myself to sleep Procrastinate all maintenance I ooze I wait I weep Oh my brain my body my soul, all have very shiny nose Shamed for lack of self control, drippy droopy pigeonhole My body screams through its twitches “you push me but you are reliant” My body says to my soul, “are you title role?” My soul stays silent My body says to my brain “ Iam sure that you hate me” My body says to my brain “Why’d you try and break me?” My body says to my brain “Each day you fail me” My brain says to my body “Hahahhahahahaha”
9.
Don’t tell me I’m the one I wouldn’t want to be the one I wouldn’t want to know Yeah there’s context of course These are temporary thoughts I think one day they’ll go. Yes I know I love you but as time goes on I think we’ll both get hurt And we keep clinging on whilst we treat each other like we don’t deserve When we met you gave me a necklace of a bird you said didn’t have a home I can’t remember for sure but I think it was a type of swallow Sometimes I think we both knew from start that this was doomed Please know my love I treasure all the time I spent with you And truth be told I’m so unsure if I should even walk away But I keep clinging on whilst knowing that I treat you worse everyday I am distant in mind and I am distant in body Even with me by your side you’ll be inevitably lonely And of one thing I’m sure it’s that you deserve more I am selfish and distracted, some weeks barely interacted I am difficult and late I do not save the date I have myself prioritised I ask your help and time I so rarely give you mine When we met you gave me a necklace of a bird you said didn’t have a home I can’t remember for sure but I think it was a type of swallow Sometimes I think we both knew from start that this was doomed Please know my love I treasure all the time I spent with you And now I feel like such a fool for this to be what I choose As if you weren’t enough Because I can say that I’ve never felt as love I can’t apologize more for my absence of emotion I know this song I write for you is just a selfish token Although there’s pain in the end I would love to remain your friend Break the past and make amends And learn to love you again in a new way
10.
If they can make money from from violence Then there will always be war And if they can make money from disease Then they’ll never find a cure If they can profit from pain Then they will fuck with our brains At this point now I think only a god could save us Good job I am god Good job you are god Good job we are god God god god god god

about

Crywanks sixth album and third studio album ‘Wearing Beige On A Grey Day’ was recorded in January 2019 in Manchester. It is a collection of songs, some of which were never intended to be released.

credits

released March 14, 2019

All songs written by Crywank
Lyrics, Vocals & Melodies: James Clayton
Percussion & backing vocals: Daniel Watson
Recorded by Joe Clayton
Additional Guitar and Bass on tracks 2,4,5,6 by Joe Clayton
Brass on tracks 2 & 6 by Joe Tatton
Vocals on ‘Blood’ by Julia Noel
Guitar solo on ‘Poured Boy...’ by A Cowboy/ Gentle Ben/ Ben Moran Healy

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Crywank Manchester, UK

Crywank are a UK based anti-folk band. They formed in Manchester. James is from Barnsley, Dan is from Darwen. They mostly write sad songs and have been told they are the worst named band in the country.

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